They say with knowledge and career you need 10 years under your belt of “technical learning” before you know what you’re doing.  Ten years before you can fly free and really invent, innovate and find that golden groove.

Is the same true with love?

Do you need 10 years (maybe 15 or 20) of trial and error before you begin to have the faintest clue what it is to love and be loved?

I’m going to go with a very emphatic YES for my own life and the observation of others lives and relationships.   But without all those technical learning, trial and error, oopsy daisy what the fuck am I doing mistakes … well I just wouldn’t be the happy camper I am today.  It’s all made me a more humble, grateful and loving person.

Everyday of my life is filled with love now because I choose to love every part of it.  I’m grateful when I receive love but I no longer expect it.

I remember a little over a year ago the day when I knew I was unloved.  A 12yr relationship had ended and I had ended an accidental 2 month marriage (that would be the oopsy daisy wtf moment of the year).  I had always been fine on my own adventures but I also had always known there was a someone somewhere loving me.  Being unloved was a hard pill to swallow.  I now had sole responsibility to love and take care of myself and no longer had any excuses not to do exactly what I wanted to do.  No one to blame for my life not looking and feeling exactly how I dreamed except me.

Over the past year I’ve had many moments, err mistakes, when my life has fallen into a complete cliche.  What do you do in these lifetime movie moments?  Laugh, it’s life, it’s rediculous, you’re living it!  Maybe cry too because that’s part of it  … then learn and get the fuck out and on to the next chapter as soon as possible.   Choose to be happy and follow your own heart and you’ll never regret any of your decisions, even the seemingly crazy ones.  Over the past year I have also had some of the very best moments of my life.  I wouldn’t trade any of it, I wouldn’t do any of it differently.

My dear friend Jordan put a post up on HighExistense.com a couple of months ago (the day before my 30th birthday) that has helped catapult me into a very lovely life flow.   Take me as a test subject and I do testify if you are choosing love every day … every decision … consciously making choices based on love … AMAZING shit happens!  Seriously amazing brilliant dreamy lovely inspiring wonderful fucking phenomenal stuff.   Thirty is already the very best year of my life.

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