I wrote the following comment in response to a post I very much disagreed with titled “Why Are You Single? Perhaps It’s The Choice Effect”. It basically tells you how to choose the person you want to be in a relationship with and takes love out of the equation. It was a guest post on one of my very favorite author’s blog Tim Ferriss by: Claire Williams.
I wrote it on June 13th, 2010 at 4:07 am and after posting it in a very ‘rant’ like style I’ve found myself reading it again and again over the past 3 months. What started as a rant ended up being a very personal note to myself. One that I may continue reading for the rest of my life.
WOW. Totally my least favorite article that you’ve ever posted, just plain sad.
Love is one of life’s greatest gifts and true love is one of the MOST amazing feelings a human can experience.
Love is not a business decision or a house or a car or a f’n career. It’s heart and love and soul and yes we ALL have a right to want EVERYTHING, everything that we want. Hopefully those wants are in check to what makes us happy healthy beings creating a happy healthy world.
And NO, you don’t have to make a commitment for life and I don’t believe in marriage … that’s legal paperwork and religious bull shit with a title and a boxed stigmata that more often then not makes people miserable.
We all have different phases in our life and if you tell me now that your exactly the same person you were 5 or 10 years ago then you’re not growing and living the amazing life that’s been given to you.
Maybe you’ll fall in love and you’ll stay on the same wavelength and stay together forever … or maybe in 5 years you’ll both have changed so much that the other looks like a stranger. Either is OK … really it’s totally fine … and maybe you’ll have many loves!
Most of the people we admire most in history had more then one love … and sometimes there is just that one love that’s different then all the rest … still doesn’t mean you want to wake up staring at that person every single day. That’s ok too!
DON’T think of it as a choice … when you feel overwhelming love FOLLOW YOUR HEART it will lead down a very happy road … yes I used the word happy. Doesn’t mean you won’t fight or have bad days but I promise you if you follow your heart you’ll never have regrets!
Live everyday of YOUR life.
Ugh, I can’t even believe after all the inspiration on living, breathing, working, traveling outside the box that you’d post how to box your self in – in the most damaging and heart breaking ways of all.
If you follow your heart in life love will eventually find you … be patient and believe.
While I have found myself out of love and out of an 11yr relationship then in-love and married (that’s a whole ‘nother story) and once again out of a relationship since I wrote this note 3 months ago … I can tell you something with certainty. I’m so right!
Seriously, the out of relationship part sucks and hurts like nothing I’ve ever felt but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Because falling in-love, being in-love even if only for a moment is worth it. It is truly the most amazing feeling to experience. Like standing in a grand and gentle waterfall, a waterfall of life and happiness pouring all around you. Happiness so pure you feel like your flying. The pain will go away but the memory of love’s moment will remain forever.